Break the Pattern of Abusive Relationships

Women who get involved with abusive men are typically those who had abusive childhood home environments. This kind of upbringing tends to normalize abusive behavior in all relationships. What this means is that women from this kind of a background are not as keen to the subtleties of abuse the way "healthy" women are.

On a positive note, there is a silver lining here-all behavior can be relearned, including the ability to recognize early signs of abuse as unacceptable behaviors in a relationship. Once this is learned, a woman will be able to break free from unhealthy relationships with men who are no good for her.

Below is a list of common abusive behaviors to watch for:

  • Criticism about your good qualities;

  • Past abusive relationships;

  • Criminal activities;

  • Drinking or drug problems, past or present;

  • Mood swings;

  • Discourages your successes;

  • Jealousy;

  • Abusive family members or spouses of siblings;

  • Attempts to control your whereabouts;

  • Disrespect toward your publicly or privately;

  • Violations of others rights;

  • Irresponsibility;

  • Attempts to keep you isolated;

  • Persistent lying;

  • History of truancy, delinquency and running away;

  • Highly reactive;

  • Streaks of meanness toward others for no reason;

  • Threatened by relationships with other men, past, present or imagined.

In order to recognize early abusive signs, a woman must stop rationalizing "abusive" behaviors as "normal." If she sees ONE abusive behavior, regardless of how small, she needs to remind herself that it IS abuse. Period! With this new skill, she will soon be dating men who treat her with dignity and respect-the way all women deserve to be treated.

by Nancy Fagan, M.S.


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