Q:
I have lived with my boyfriend for 2 ˝ years. During this time, I have
experienced bouts of temper with this man—I’m the one who yells and
acts like a spoiled child, not him. He is a good person, gives me
everything I need and tells me he loves me at least twice a day.
Sadly, he’s had enough and asked me to move out. How do I deal with
the guilt, get over him and move on?
A: Your focus needs
adjustment. Rather than direct your concern away from how to “get over
him” or “moving on,” it needs to turn toward the reason the
relationship is ending—your uncontrolled fits.
The end of
this relationship will not put a stop to your behavior. Just the
opposite, it will escalate with time, destroying future relationships.
Because of this, you need to explore what motivates your immature
expressions.
Gaining
insight is one thing, but applying change to your well-oiled behavior
will require you to stretch yourself—to fight the urge and go against
what feels natural. People’s behaviors, both good and bad, are
learned. And...what is learned can be unlearned.
