Being a
good listener takes more than being attentive to your partner when he
or she talks with you. Instead, the key to strong communication is
knowing the characteristics of a poor listener.
The act of
NOT listening is not exclusively a fault of men; women do it just as
often. Below is a list of common blocks to effective listening:
Feelings
of being right and your partner being wrong.
Insecurity about topics that creates defensiveness.
Silently
resenting your pattern.
Silently
or verbally criticizing what your partner is saying.
Being
preoccupied with other issues.
Being
impatient or not in the mood to talk.
Rehearsing what you will say while your partner is talking.
Jumping
to hasty conclusions.
Dismissing what you hear.
Racing
ahead of what your partner is saying.
The
build up of strong emotions during a discussion.
A
dislike for the subject.
Feeling
misunderstood.
The key to
effective communication is identifying when you are doing any of the
roadblocks above and work to change it. Like all change, it requires
practice, but it's possible as long as you are willing to make the
effort.
