Many men and women find themselves falling into patterns of getting
involved with the "wrong" kind of partner. This may prove to be
frustrating, resulting in a helpless feeling. The question "Why?" is
often asked. "Why do I keep getting involved with the same kind of
men/women?" Well, let me tell you. It is because you aren't looking
for early warning signs that signal you to get away. It might also
mean that you are unaware of the warning signs but rationalize their
potential ramifications. Be that as it may, you are attracted to that
"bad" trait or traits in men/women. Consequently, those
characteristics lead to unhealthy relationships.
The
only way to avoid repeating harmful patterns is to be able to
recognize the adverse signs early on. The earlier you see the signs,
the easier it is to avoid getting hurt emotionally. Change is not
comfortable. If you want to have a healthy relationship, you will have
to learn to be attracted to a different type of person. To do this,
you need to make slight changes. The easiest is to redirect your first
conversations with people you find attractive. These conversations
should take on a purpose of screening for unwanted traits.
When a
woman, for instance, gets caught up in conversation with an attractive
man, it's easy to get lost in his voice, eyes, touch, and so on.
Before you know it, the conversation meanders without a focus and you
have no idea if he shares similar bad traits as your ex. But, you
don't have to let this happen.
You can
set your goal to unveil the man's "crucial topics" (issues that broke
your previous relationship(s). For instance, if your ex was an
alcoholic, keep an eye out for how much he drinks and how important
alcohol is in his life. The key is to be casual and not make it sound
like you're interrogating him. Keep in mind that he will have no idea
what you are thinking, only that you are having light conversation.
I'm
sure you have the idea: make a point of finding the signs of the
relationships that have impacted your past relationships negatively.
Regardless of how attracted you are to a man, don't rationalize the
red flags waving in front of your eyes. Making excuses for these will
lend itself to the same results you had with the last man-a bad
relationship.
