He Got Her Pregnant

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and like most relationships, we've had our ups and downs. However, recently I found out that he had an affair and the woman got pregnantóthe baby was born two weeks ago. I talk to both of them and they apologized. I love him, we share a child together, and Iím confused. Please help me.

A. You are in a complicated situation. It's common for women in your set of circumstances to act out of anger and make decisions they regret later on. Because you share a child together, you need to think about what is best for yourself as well as for your child.

If you decide to forgive your husbandís transgressions in order to keep your family together, the two of you need to get into counseling immediately. This will help uncover the reason that prompted the affair in the first place. Affairs are always a symptom of something bigger. If you choose this journey, prepare yourself for a bumpy, emotional ride, which, by the way, is the only way to get the relationship on strong footing again.

Affairs don't have to be the end of a relationship. Instead, they can be an opportunity to grow stronger and closer. The choice is up to you, but it sounds like you are on the right track.

by Nancy Fagan, M.S.

 

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