A romantic
relationship is an emotionally intimate bond between two people. Such
a relationship is best when it is with someone who knows you,
understands you, and accepts you. It is enhanced through talking
intimately about feelings, thoughts, and needs.
Sometimes
when the qualities of a romantic relationship are not met, one or both
partners seek them outside the relationship in an affair. An affair
can be as exhilarating as it is destructive to the relationship. When
a person in a relationship feels the temptation to have an affair,
it's usually because the romance in the relationship has stopped being
important. Keep this thought in the back of your mind as you search
for ways to inject more romance into your relationship.
Make Your Relationship an Affair to Remember
When you think of an affair, what comes to mind? Passion? Romance?
Attachment to another person? That's exactly what an affair is;
however, the downside is that it is typically associated with a
limited duration, not to mention, causing a great deal of pain to your
primary partner. But, what if you could extend an affair and make it
an everyday and lifelong occasion with your partner? You can do it;
it's just a matter of decision.
The way to
make this happen is to turn your relationship into an affair. The
first step to doing this is to know just exactly what needs are met by
an affair: feeling desired, being loved, feeling needed, sexual
fulfillment, being understood, close friendship, intellectual
stimulation, feeling complete, attachment, and being listened to.
Look over
these characteristics and ask yourself which of these qualities you
provide for your partner. The ideal way to use this list is to sit
down with your partner and take turns putting this list in order of
which characteristics you feel the strongest, down to those you feel
the least.
When each
of you has completed your list, compare notes with your partner to see
the order you put the characteristics in. Pay special attention to the
last few items because they will tell you the areas that you need to
work on with your partner. The goal of this exercise is to identify
the areas that are holding you back from having an affair with your
partner.
You can do
the same with your partner. Look at the feeling that he put on the
bottom of the ranking list. Then ask him what he needs that would help
him get a stronger sense of that feeling. You'll be surprised at how
this simple exercise will illuminate important feelings that your
partner has been experiencing. This exercise many times reveals
feelings that are new to both partners. When you are able to
strengthen your weak areas, your relationship will be the love affair
you always wanted.
