Q:
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We have been
living together for 11 months. I am really more in love with him
everyday, but being the insecure female I am, I would like to know how
I can test if he loves me as much as he says he does? Could you help
me with a few tips, signs, and so on?
A: Your growing love
sounds more like increasing vulnerability and fear of losing him. As
far as how much he loves you—his actions overwhelmingly demonstrate
it—he’s been with you for five years and deepened his commitment to
you by living together with you.
If you
start to demand proof of his love, you will drive him right out of
your life. When that happens, it will have nothing to do with his lack
of love for you, but how little YOU love yourself.
The fact
that you need to test his love has nothing to do with him, but with
you. This is a BIG sign of insecurity within yourself, about yourself,
how little you value yourself, and your lack of feelings of
self-worth. Until you can love yourself, you will never be able to
believe that someone loves you—regardless of what they do or say.
Start a
plan of self-discovery and development. As you grow as a person, so
will your self-esteem and self worth, followed by your belief that
others love you as much as you need to be loved.
