What are
the qualities you look for in a potential husband or wife?
Have you
ever dated someone you were crazy about, yet wished you could change
one little thing about him or her? Have you reveled in the fact that
you and your sweetie had almost everything in common, yet you still
broke up? Just what is it that we really need to look for in order to
promote a successful future with someone?
Perhaps
the best way to determine whether he or she is wedding-worthy is to
ask yourself a few questions. There are five basic elements that you
need to really look at before any relationship can progress towards
something truly successful. These elements are as follows: emotional,
sexual, intellectual, financial, and spiritual.
Emotional:
Take the emotional aspect of a person's makeup. This area includes a
person's psychological characteristics, emotional styles and
expressions. Perspective on the world, level of self-esteem,
confidence, intimacy, ability to share, commit. Weaknesses, strengths,
respect of self and others, vanity, attitude. The list goes on...
Sexual: Sexuality means different
things to different people. For some, it means the physical act
itself, perhaps something wild, while for others, romance and
expression play an important part. A few traits to keep in mind when
looking for a partner might be level of interest, romance, attraction,
love, variations, response, monogamy, communication, risk taking,
playfullness, awareness of STDs, and physical appearance.
Intellectual: How a person thinks
about the world he or she inhabits, and how they interact day to day.
Some people are casual and some thrive on being type A personalities.
A person's intellectual style influences would include expression of
ideas, level of education, sense of humor, goals, skills, hobbies,
mistakes, converasation and learning styles, interest and quickness of
thought.
Financial: Money affects everyone.
How one treats it tells much about him or her, and can make the
difference between a comfortable life and a life of living Hell, so
it's important to be compatible in this area. Pay attention to
spending style, lifestyle, goals, retirement, savings and ideas about
money and debt in general.
Spiritual: Spiritually doesn't
necessarily mean a person's religious orientation, rather a basic
belief system about life in general. A sense of self, a reason for
living. It includes beliefs about ethics, the importance of religion,
purpose of life, optimism, acceptance of others, integrity, honesty,
responsibility and social values.
Using the Core Elements to Make a Match Whenever you are interested in someone, it's important to
know her views on each of the five components. The more areas of
comparability, the stronger the foundation of the relationship will
be. People can have differences, but it adds strain to a relationship.
Observe and communicate, and hopefully, you will be able to catch
differences early on, to avoid pain later.
