Q:
When I met (name eliminated) six years ago he was married (he still
is). Today we share a four-year-old daughter. Out of the blue he
disappeared and after two weeks of searching, I found out he was in
jail. He didn't contact me because he wanted to let me know. I am a
born again Christian and I believe people can change and deserve a
second changed. He says he loves us and promises to help me out when
he is released (Nov. 2004). Am I wrong for wanting to wait for him?
A:
Love makes people do things that they regret later on. Wanting to wait
for him is a natural thing--it's your love speaking. However, it's
also an irrational thought.
Being in love, it's natural to make excuses or accept his excuses for
his unacceptable behaviors. The hardest thing to do is to see him for
who is--a cheater, liar, and disrespectful man with a criminal
history.
If you keep him in your life, he will eventually treat you the way he
currently treats his current wife--poorly with disrespect and an
inability to honor his vows. If this is the behavior you desire in a
partner, then by all means, stand by your man. If not-and hopefully
not--close that door tight, head to church and find yourself an
honorable man to respect you and raise your child in socially
acceptable ways in which the two of you can be proud of.
